I'll meet your eyes_.

flashback.

2008-07-12T09:17:00.002+08:00

wasnt been able to sleep da whole nite.

psp batt went flat.

checked n update bloggie.

firah tagged me yesterday.

a sudden flashback strikes me.

she reminds me of one of our patients.

HASSAN BIN HASSAN.

a grumpy old diabetic mly man.

one of my worse patients i got.

very grumpy but wen it comes to asking sweets.

he will talk to me VERY NICELY.

he will fuck me after dat if i dun giv him one.

but evryday he will ask for firah.

khekhekhe(anak angkat i called her).

coz b4 me.

firah was da one hu took care of him.

i wonder how is he doin rite nw?

met hubby

2008-07-11T23:09:00.002+08:00

rotting at home.

supposed to go to nenek's place.

but kinda lazy.

hubby texted last minute.

askin me to come over his place.

reached at about 7.

bought stuff at sheng siong.

hubby cooking dinner.

nthn much actually.

appt.

2008-07-10T21:13:00.000+08:00

again today.

went for my appt alone.

hate da idea dat hubby cudnt make up his mind.

meet or not to meet?

where n wat time?

some evryday problem we face.

which end up cancelling our meeting.

i missed him.

2008-07-08T22:01:00.002+08:00

gosh.

finally i get to meet him.

really miz him.

met him at 9+ at jrg east.

went to IMM.

in search for his new hammock.

had lunch at long john silver.

to get rid of my hershey pie craving.

tho it was a short meet.

i was able to see his face.

u guyz dunnu hw badly i missed him.

nw tat we're talking.

2008-07-07T23:09:00.000+08:00

nw tat we startin to talk nicely.

but it was kinda awkward tis time.

but if its for our relationship sake.

i gav in n make an effort to b nice.

tho after wat happen.

******************************

sis came wit abg sevki.

spend da nite playing scrabble.

got 2nd after abg sevki.

ONI BY FEW POINTS.

gosh i wish hubby was here.

bein able to laugh wit him again is wat i cn ask for nw.

still not talking...

2008-07-06T23:53:00.001+08:00

STILL NOT TALKING.

in fact in da verch of breakup.

went to his place to grab all my bloody stuff.

so much of nt givin up to giv in.

time to follow my ego.

still not talking!

2008-07-05T16:15:00.000+08:00

still not talking!

cleared da unwanted stuff in the wardrobes.

sis moving in soon.

im juz doin tis to distract myself.

gosh~!

for hw long seh.

still nt talking..

2008-07-04T23:53:00.002+08:00

was at home again whole day.

we STILL not talking.

how long will it drag?

i did some clearing of stuff in my room.

juz doin something to distract me.

still not talking.

2008-07-03T23:51:00.001+08:00

was at home all day.

hubby went to court at 6pm.

we still nt talking normally.

sis came for awhile to send the blinds for my room.

tiff again.

2008-07-02T23:44:00.002+08:00

i was at home all day.

had a rough day today.

had a tiff wit HIM.

SHIT.

i can't believe u text me all those words.

hold these tears long enuf already.

time to let it go.

im nt tat strong animore.

kept reading the text msg over n over again.

happy birthday mum.

2008-07-01T23:38:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAK.

small celebration at home.

credits to sis n abg sevki.
got my fringe trimmed short as well.

very short.

sis insisted.

last fringe cut by her i swear.

lol.

den we watch a game at jrg stadium.

hubby teased me in his text msg.

bein "loyal supporter" to gombak.

hehe.

shut up u.

last minute movie.

2008-06-30T23:39:00.002+08:00

had breakfast at aliff gombak.

with hubby after his work.

we didnt actually plan bout today.

so i juz decide to catch da 1120hr movie.

at jurong point to use up my june complimentary pass.

my last comp pass after quitting Golden Village.

we watched Get Smart.

ok lah not bad.

i doze off a couple of time..oops.

ex bf helmi kept texting me crap.

hubby got pissed reading em.

got home after tat.

i went straight to lala land.

shop for baby.

2008-06-29T23:35:00.001+08:00

met sis at jurong point.

brought along niece.

we had dinner.

nthn much lah.

but we shop abit for baby.

nursing pad.

bottles.

3 tube of wet tissues.

head cover.

best of all was.

CHOOSING DA MITTEN N BOOTIES.

wit all those cute design.

lol.

hard for me n sis.

coz we yet to noe whether its a oy or girl.

cramp lar seh.

2008-06-28T23:22:00.002+08:00

screw da unexpected guest.

relative from batam riau island came.

a family of 4.

we tot dey wun b comin today.

if dey were my mum wud bring dem to my nenek's hse.

but dey came unexpectedly at nite.

so me!

myself!

n i!

got no choice but to giv up my room for dem.

i hafta squeeze into my parents room.

together wit my niece.

4 of us cramped in da room.

i wasn't able to get even an hr of sleep.

hubby's 1st scan.

2008-06-27T23:45:00.002+08:00

wee~!

today is hubby's 1st time to c baby.

scheduled for baby growth scan at 2.30pm.

supposedly to b accompanied by sis n hubby.

(main2 seh dlm scan rm!)

he got to c da baby fully.

part of da scan i juz lie dwn feelin breathless already.

i get breathless easily wen i lie flat.

after da scan.

we wen mustafa centre where i gt some baby stuff.

beginning to buy bit by bit.

very shagged.

we head home.

i got home and brought my niece out to gek poh.

to find her hannah montana magazine.

wat nonsense magazine i dunu.

but it was a wasted trip.

magazine sold out.

nightmare.

2008-06-26T23:32:00.002+08:00

went alone to my appt at KKH.

was few minutes to bein late.

freaking hot weather.

hafta walk a long distance alone.

frm little india station to hospital.

enduring da scorching sun.

was sweating like a pig.

sis n abg sevki came at da ending part.

head to geylang after tat.

had dinner 1st b4 gettin their engagement stuff.

got home.

cleaned up n went to bed.

early tis time.

awakened by stupid nightmare.

finding my dad standing in front of my bed.

he said he heard me screaming.

he tried waking me up.

but i was still screaming in my sleep.

da fact is.

i cnt wake up.

its da same dream i had ast time.

so tis time round i wasnt suprise tat i cudnt wake up.

dey say its disturbance which expecting mums usually gets.

kinda miz sis.

2008-06-25T23:23:00.000+08:00

sis came.

she bought me an esprit keychain.

and a guess wallet.

its been a mth i tink.

since da last argument.

we didnt talk nor meet eye to eye.

we used to b very close.

but i tink its time i put out da fire.

we went bugis wit mum n athira.

she got me a bag,3 top n 1 bottom.

den we had dinner at newton.

with abg sevki joining us.

went to hubby's place.

2008-06-24T23:12:00.000+08:00

went to hubby's place in da afternoon.

helped him wit da trimming of his bunny nails.

nthn much.

juz accompany him at home.

we had dinner at teck whye before i head home.

was feeling bit shagged.

tink da baby starting to put weight on me.

wateva it is.

still cnnt deny ima active mum!

at 35 weeks pregnant.

i still can run n jump arnd.

got home.

scan some documents to b sent to mindef.

for hubby's deferment.

shits~!

2008-06-23T23:08:00.000+08:00

shit_.

hubby realli bout to burst.

received a shocking unexpected pay.

i was supposed to go to his place today.

but i didnt hav enuf cash wit me.

gosh.

i felt so bad tat i cant help in anyway.

i noe his down rite nw.

baby.

im always wit u.

relieved.

2008-06-22T23:05:00.002+08:00

Bit relieved.

to hear hubby back on his feet.

start to go to work.

he went to work yest n today.

im at home thru put since yesterday.

each day i pray to god.

to keep u safe n happy.

im always dere.

to ease ur pain.

n hold ur hand.

to da very end.

pretenders...

2008-06-20T23:04:00.000+08:00

fuck da pretenders.

u ppl dun deserve to live.

u deserve to b shot dead.

fed to da crows.

argh~!

nw i noe wat r frens.

wat r foes.

met hubby at nite

2008-06-20T23:00:00.003+08:00

hubby was stressed out.

met him at jrg point for awhile at nite.

mum packed him food.

she even packed him titbits she bought frm langkawi.

geez.

hard time for me to carry frm home.

wonder hw he carry it home.

tho i wasnt b able to help him ease his problem.

but atleast da smile on his face is relieving enuf for me.

i luv u d.

dun worry.

hw bad ur day is.

i b by ur side to brighten ur day.

nthn much.

2008-06-19T20:15:00.001+08:00

wah..

i woke up late today at 2pm.

hubby went for his army stuff checkup.

hope he get to defer his reservist.

outing wit em

2008-06-18T23:44:00.001+08:00

thanx hubby.

allowing me to meet my frens.

tho i wasnt able to meet all of dem.

atleast some of dem were able to make deir time to meet me.

for sri,fatt,harizah,shikin.

i miss u guyz.

we went mkn at beach rd.

thanx to wet weather.

we can plan much.

so frm beach rd we walked to bugis.

farah got her pants.

frm dere on we walked to suntec.

by den it was 6 plus.

me n nana make a move home.

sori ppl.

prices rise!

2008-06-16T23:17:00.002+08:00

went to meet nurul at 12.

took a bus wit a crazy guy.

lol.(oni me n nurul noe)

head to sheng siong to shop for nenek's stuff.

gee i swear dat things r expensive nwadays.

nurul n i had a tough time carrying stuff home.

luckily dere was a cab driving by.

or else we will only roast ourselves under da sun.

after we ate.

we head to my hse.

i nid to chge b4 goin to hubby's place.

pity me.
hafta trim his bunny's nails.

watched congkak at hubby's house.

den took a cab home.

father day

2008-06-15T23:28:00.002+08:00

met hubby at jurong point.

settled some stuff.

had lunch wit hubby at banquet.
den we head home.

after watchin tv.

hubby snored to lala land.

lol.

after he woke up.

i let him hav dinner 1st b4 goin to gekpoh.

to hav my peanut waffle.

realli bored.

2008-06-14T23:39:00.002+08:00

home alone again.

cooked lemak chilli padi ayam for bro.

did some sweeping,washing clothes,folding da clothes.

very tired n bored.

my piggy hubby.

2008-06-13T23:42:00.002+08:00

hubby promised to come in da morning.

but it seems like he is snoring away at home.

came in da afternoon.

had lunch here.

i cooked ikan tongkol masak kicap.

den after a few moment.

i fried all those finger food.

we ate em till we're stuffed.

after bein bloated wit food.

hubby rot in bed.

till its time to go to work.

aiyah boring lor!

2008-06-12T23:46:00.001+08:00

after mum,dad,n athira left.

i got bored instantly.

dey were away to langkawi for holiday.

leaving me wit bro at home.

sheesh~

hafta baby sit mummy's boy.

kak ayu came for awhile.

nvr c her for so long.

iron man!!

2008-06-10T23:48:00.002+08:00

gee~

i didnt meant to woke up late.

supposed to meet hubby at jrg e.

so no choice but hafta go dere all by myself.

hubby cooked lunch.

we sat dwn wit his mum n sis n hav our lunch together.

after tat hubby start da iron man dvd which i brought frm hme.

hubby snored to lala land after tat.

leaving me bored alone.

her mum n sis left for work.

i woke hubby up at 6 plus expecting him to go to work.

turn out tat someone's lazy to go to work.

*oink oink*

haix..

2008-06-09T23:55:00.001+08:00

supposed to meet hubby.

but....

jeng..jeng..jeng..

aunt text me.

persuade me to befren back wit her daughter.

y shud i?

hideout.

2008-06-08T23:57:00.000+08:00

today is da day whereby abg sevki's side is coming to my place.

to talk bout the engagement plans btwn him n my sister.

cik aya tampines n cik silah will b here too.

i hav no choice but to get out of tis house.

hafta hide myself.

went to nenek's place.

brought along lappy to a ccompany me.

gee i was dead bored dere.

cooked instant noodle.

tv n lappy has nthn great.

hubby dead asleep.

den i decided to meet fiza n zurin at jrg p.

dey treat me to big feast at delifrance.

gee...we ate till we're bloated.

....

2008-06-07T23:02:00.002+08:00

cleaned up my room.

tidy it up.

mum's away to johor.

home alone wit athira.

fetch nenek with athira.

f*ck the bus service 30.

kept us waiting for half n hr.

b4 announcing da delay.

after getting nenek's stuff.

i didnt tink twice on taking a cab home.

im already shagged.

after all those cleaning up at home.

haix

2008-06-06T23:02:00.002+08:00

cracked my brain on hw to help d.

thanx kris for da help.

u dun hafta thanx me hubby.

like ive promised.

we go thru evry challenges n pain together.

ur pain.

is my pain.

*luv u hubby*

dunu boy or girl.

2008-06-05T21:08:00.000+08:00

i had my 1440hr appt today.

went wit mum n athira.

den we move off to IKEA.

mum wanted to buy chairs.

to replace the spoiled ones in da kitchen.

day gettin nearer.

2008-06-04T21:10:00.000+08:00

went for my baby scan appt at 1130hr.

still dunu whether it is a boy or a girl.

screw those kepo youngsters dere.

keep ur eyes to urself.

almost resort to a complete breakup yesterday wit hubby.

but tings cooled dwn n we went town to hav dinner.

we hang arnd at SMU.

took bus 502 to jrg.

sat dwn for awhile.

he had his hot coffee.

n me my ice milo.

hubby accompany me home.

psst...hubby sweat alot..:)

happy birthday hubby

2008-06-03T22:17:00.003+08:00

-=HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY HUBBY=-

best wishes for u dear.

my prayers for ur well-being n happiness will always b wit u.

a new journey.

a new chapter.

wit me by ur side always.

i tell u as i tell da world.

tat after u,dere is no one better.

i will remember hw u kiz me.

feelin ur breath wen u hug me.

n even da arguments we had.

which even bring us closer.

let it b rain or shine.

i'll b holding ur hands.

n walk wit u to anywhere.

like ive said rite frm da start.

u mean evrythin to me.

n will always b.

*luv u Mohd Iswadi*

boredom

2008-06-02T21:56:00.000+08:00

was at home since yesterday.
got bored eventually.

met nana at pioneer mall.

geez.

i dun get wateva stuff i wanna get at giant.

if oni gek poh's prime done wit their renovation.

it wud b easier.

dinner at mcdonald.

den we head home.

mummy day.

2008-05-11T23:19:00.000+08:00

nthn much today.

cik silah came to take all da bikes away.

she asked bout wadi alot.

talked bout nurul bf alot too.

.....

2008-05-10T23:16:00.001+08:00

visit nenek at home.

juz to make sure she's ok.

after tat i went to meet hubby at JP.

had dinner.

aishah saket.

2008-05-07T23:14:00.001+08:00

met aishah n her fren.

accompanied her to c a doctor.

get well soon bestie!

luv watchin him sleep.

2008-05-06T23:11:00.002+08:00

hubby went chevrons b4 meetin me.

went dere straight after work.

had lunch at cck mcdonald.

den acompanied him home.

hav his rest.

den together move off frm his hse.

he head for work.

i head hme.

happy bday harizah.

2008-05-04T23:06:00.002+08:00

me,huda,dee,baby n farah.

decided to throw a suprise for harizah.

her 19th birthday.

bought cake at polar.

tweety bird baloons n floral shop.

n KFCs at marina.

celebrated at esplanade.

1st time i wore gang giler shirt wit em.

**sorie i misplaced my memory card.

unable to display pix.

...

2008-05-03T23:04:00.001+08:00

met hubby.

i realise one ting bout us meetin.

if im unable to decide place n time.

we always end up arguing n nt meetin.

geez.

tiring u noe.

hafta crack my brain most of the time.

aircon fixed.

2008-05-02T23:01:00.000+08:00

was sleepin soundly.

but spoilt by some ppl.

thanx to aircon ppl hu came unexpectedly.

but at least my aircon was finally fixed.

happy beday abah.

2008-05-01T23:46:00.004+08:00

its a public holiday today.

labour day.

we're also celebrating abah n abg sevki's bday.

deir actual beday is tomoro.

hubby cudnt make it to join us.

he's werkin.

so yeah.

we celebrate at CSC bowling centre.

bowling has been our family hobby.
not suprise dad top all of us.

he's a natural pro.

he brought his own bowling accessories.

complete set i mean.

sadly da family picture was incomplete without hubby.

boredom.

2008-04-30T23:44:00.000+08:00

sat at home da whole afternoon.

boredom strikes.

miss my life.

met nana at 800+ park.

missed her.

had a great chat wit her.

soccer.

2008-04-29T23:41:00.002+08:00

accompany sis to jrg w stadium.

to support a soccer match.

gombak VS balestier.

gosh.

i saw pornstar.

she was gombak's cheerleader.

hehehe..

tat stupid slut.

meet da session lagik?

2008-04-28T23:31:00.002+08:00

if ur tinkin tat da meet the session period are over for me.

ur totally wrong man!

went to hubby's place.

again.

tis time round is to meet his sis n dad.

hubby cooked lemak chilli padi ayam.

i swear he is a betta cook den me.

met his dad.

ok lah a nice n alot of tings to talk kinda person.

sis kept texting me.

bored at hme i guess waiting for me to come back hme.

coz sis is staying for da nite today.

hubby meet his mum n dad in law.

2008-04-27T22:52:00.000+08:00

mum cooked mee siam.

fetched hubby at boon lay.

brought hubby home to meet mum n dad for da 1st time.

1st was at the chalet.

tis time was to talk bout da upcoming marriage.

tings went well btwn him n dad.

even talked bout stuff tat is nt related at all.

went IMM after tat.

accompany hubby by his fan.

hehehe.

in-laws met in-laws.

2008-04-26T22:55:00.003+08:00

dearie side came to meet mum n dad.
cik aya was here too.
we cooked curry n roti kirai for em.
it turns out tat we're related alot.
hehe.
fun isn it.
i was nervous wen come to serving.
but it turns out ok..

1st meet wit mother in law?

2008-04-25T22:42:00.001+08:00

met hubby at bukit batok in da morning.

applied for singnet broadband.

lunch at burger king.

den we went to hubby's hse.

to meet his mum.

gee i swear it was nerve wrecking.

but it turns out fine.

his mum was a frenly person.

met dearie.

2008-04-22T22:31:00.000+08:00

met dearie at cck.

went to causeway point wit him.

realised dere wasnt any ting dere.

den we went to old wlds place.

den dunu frm out of the blue.

we decided to go to mustafa centre.

tiff wit him.

2008-04-21T22:25:00.003+08:00

it was sure was da 1st time we had a tiff.

i accidentally ask him to get off my life.

cancel our marriage plan.

went to cik aya place to spend da nite dere.

cik aya talked me out.

slowly i cooled myself dwn.

text d n apologised.

....

2008-04-20T22:21:00.001+08:00

supposed to meet dearie's mum today.

but i guess its cancelled.

coz dearie didnt mention bout it.

went to IMM wit mum.

to get my new fan.

my room fan broke dwn.

bugis lagik?!

2008-04-19T22:16:00.000+08:00

went bugis wit mum,sis,athira.

had dinner at swensens.

sis shopped.

i got few stuff too.

bag,slipper,clothes.

nthn much.

2008-04-18T22:10:00.000+08:00

nthn much today.

slept da whole afternoon today.

hubby extend work.

2008-04-17T23:58:00.002+08:00

12:05:24PM

We r gettin married,

luv u b

tat was da msg dat woke me up.

n gt me into tears.

yes.

tears of joy tat is.

dearie registered our pre-marital counselling.

dearie meet cik aya.

2008-04-16T23:49:00.002+08:00

met dearie at jrg east in the morning.

after his work tat is.

together we head to Sim Lim.

accompany d to et his comp stuff.

went to cik aya's place to talked bout da marriage.

dere sure is stuff dat we totally dun wanna listen to.

so before d got dead bored.

we move off.

i accompany d to teck whye to take his specs.

den he sent me off to da lrt station n i head home.

thru out da evening.

d didnt text me on da fone.

gettin worried.

aishah knew.

2008-04-15T21:45:00.002+08:00

moved off frm cik aya's place in da afternoon.

after yuyun came back frm werk.

we hadda shared dinner.

at delifrance.

slowly i managed to break da news to aishah.

it was hard for me.

i was nt supposed to tell her.

actually i was nt supposed to meet frens let alone cuzzies.

order frm mum.

hw long will i hafta hide myself.

wasted trip.

2008-04-14T23:35:00.002+08:00

went to bukit batok thomson clinic.

to recheck on my pregnancy.

coz its very hard for me to believe its 5 n a half.

as my belly didnt show at all.

it turns out to b a wasted trip.

i tot da chance of normal suctioning abortion was dere.

great dissapointment.

i stayed at cik aya's place for da nite.

she gav me lotsa encouragement talk.

da issue bout me n d gettin married popped up.

den again i hafta tink again.

finally able to speak a word wit mum.

2008-04-13T23:48:00.000+08:00

went bugis with mum,athira n yuyun.

had dinner at arab st.

damn da place was crowded.

mum gt me new clothes.

in preparation of da big tummy.

yuyun too.

bowling.

2008-04-12T23:46:00.001+08:00

bowling at CDANS to celebrate cik aya's b'day.

yuyun followed me home.

sori no pix.

no mood to take pics.

athira knew?

2008-04-11T23:41:00.002+08:00

was bein careful wit athira.

im sensing tat she knew bout da baby.

she keep touching my tummy.

met dearie at jrg point for dinner.

was worried bout sis n her fiance.

saw her crying b4 i took da bus to meet d.

i tink dere's a lot of pressure goin on for her.

1st bro's debt.

den me.

den her fiance.

wish i cud help.

but wasnt even able to help myself.

screw da guy.

2008-04-10T23:34:00.000+08:00

hadda sudden mood fling.

argued wit mum n sis.

met sis at Chinatown at bout 7+.

dinner at delifrance,

met cik aya n make our way to maman's place.

dun wanna elaborate bout wat has happen.

to summarise it.

maman however twist da story to his mum.

dey wan me to make da blood test.

his fuckin mother has no rite to lecture me.

wen his son go off scot free.

wish my mum was dere.

wateva it is.

met mum.

filed a compensation report at da police station.

cik aya knew.

2008-04-09T22:28:00.002+08:00

sis broke news to cik aya.

met coach to da library.

was too afraid to stay at hme n face mum.

d gav some ideas to da baby name

girl: Isabelle Eva Natasha

boy: Eddie Ezkandar Shah

i hope its a boy.

d said it wud b a girl.

we had tis bet,

if its a boy.

d owe me a set of baby's adidas apparel.

mum knew.

2008-04-08T22:11:00.002+08:00

met sis at Novena.

head to thomson hospital.

turns out.

abortion was too risky.

may lead to death.

sis decides to tell mum.

den again.

hu wud dare to.

had lunch at Swensens.

den i head to nenek's hse.

sis went home to break da news to mum.

eversince den.

didnt spoke a word to mum.

5 n a half.

2008-04-07T22:06:00.000+08:00

went to London Clinic wit sis in da morning.

did an ultrasound scan.

geez.

baby is 5 n a half mth old.

talked wit sis at LJS jrg east ent.

bout makin a choice.

im left wit 2 weeks to abort it.

as the spore laws says bout aborting babies up till 6mth.

went to Thomson Clinic at 7+.

for a referral letter to Thomson hospital.

where dey cn do abortion.

i swear mum had bit of suspicious bout us.

im givin up hope.

2008-04-06T16:02:00.001+08:00

sis got me n appt tomoro.

at a pte clinic.

LONDON CLINIC in jrg e central.

geez.

i hope dere is still hope to abort it.

lost.

2008-04-05T16:01:00.001+08:00

sis tried very hard to helped me.

but im feelin like its hopeless.

im givin up hope already.

confirmed.

2008-04-04T22:52:00.002+08:00

met kak ayu at jurong ployclinic tis morning.

to checked bout da pregnancy.

turns out to b confirm positive.

was refered to KKH.

i broke news to sis.

texted her.

met d at jrg e.

had dinner wit him b4 he head to work.

shagged.

2008-04-03T20:49:00.002+08:00

was really shagged today.

promised mum to fetch athira home today.

i took a cab frm nenek's place.

a sudden feelin of missing athira.

she drop da bus wit a happy n suprised face wen she saw me.

got home.

to my bed.

on da aircon.

snored away.

more cleaning.

2008-04-02T15:45:00.002+08:00

woke up in da morning.

to get more cleaning stuff.

went sheng siong wit zurin.

didnt had our shower b4 we left.

hehe.

tis time round.

we cleaned the balcony.

gosh.

i was very shagged by today.

*P.S. i still havent got da toilet

scene outta my head.

clean up day.

2008-04-01T15:36:00.000+08:00

met zurin at nenek's place.

went sheng sion wit mum to buy hse stuff for cleaning.

me n zurin will b cleaning neneks's hse.

argh!

we start wit da toilet.

i tell u straight to ur face.

it is a horrible feeling.

to clean a more den 5 yrs un washed toilet.

all those scrubbing wit our hands.

worst day of my life.

i sure gag a couple of time.

had no appetite to eat after tat.

plz ignore me in tis pic.

i luk fat.

out wit GFs.

2008-03-31T22:27:00.000+08:00

i nid a break.

hafta get outta tis hse.

cnt help tinkin bout killin "it".

met GFs to Suntec City.

had drinks at Starbuck cafe.

Dinner ar Beach rd after tat.

suprised huda IMH wit a small biscuit cake.

dee,harizah n i bought at mrs fields.

back at home.

da tots came back shooting sharply in my mind.

haix.

hw m i goin to settle tis.

i barely hav money to buy my ciggies.

hw to get money to go for an abortion.

wat m i supposed to do?

2008-03-30T23:24:00.001+08:00

im lost.

uncomfortable.

nvr talked to d much today.

wat shud i do?

im pregnant.

2008-03-29T23:18:00.000+08:00

i met shankar today.

to accompany me to return my uniform at GVMA.

met marsitah dere.

i bought a pregnancy test.

after a nite tinkin bout bein pregnant.

da test showed positive.

i broke dwn to tears.

i text d n pleaded him to meet me.

we met at boiut 10pm at gombak.

broke da new to him.

gav him da choice to leave me.

i took a cab home crying.

later tat nite he msg me.

tellin tat he will help me in wateva he cud.

toss n turn in bed.

kept punching my tummy.

it wasnt belong to d.

n im sure da person whom it belongs to is somewan i wanna get rid off my life.

heart beat.

2008-03-28T15:42:00.002+08:00

i dunnu y.

i dun feel like myself today.

da tots bout my menses tat has nt been comin.

pushing me to tell myself tat im pregnant.

m i?

HDB Hub.

2008-03-27T21:13:00.000+08:00

nthn much today.

went to HDB hub wit mum,dad,nenek.

to settle bout nenek's hse issue.

bout putting my name to da hse.

after tat had breakfast at makanshiok.

took a cab to bukit batok to apply for an hp line.

dad took da hp.

i took my student plan line sim card.

1st day unemployed.

2008-03-24T22:58:00.008+08:00

woke up hungry tis morning.

he had his snoring nites.

while i had my "keep awake" nites.

supposed to go hdb hub wit mum n dad.

but was cancelled.

im able to get some pictures of us.

tho da image resolution sux.

LAST DAY IN GVMA!!!

2008-03-23T23:38:00.003+08:00

yeahness~!

its my last day in GVMA!

thanx karen for her help.

i sure was bubbly wen i reached workplace.

Nana was doin her morning shift in da candy bar.

i'll b working wit Rina in da box office.

wohoo.

i reached early juz to make sure i had time to paste da biscuits to evry locker.

i bought Dini n Rina(the twins) a huge biscuit for deir belated present.

wasnt shagged at all tho da crowd sux.

i was juz counting dwn to the time tat i end work.

b watchin movie wit hubby later after work.

SEMI-PRO.

den wud probably torn later.

rina kept makin me feel guilty over leaving GVMA.

but realli.

i cnt stand working dere animore.

been working dere for a yr plus.

nt wat i've planned.

had dinner wit hubby at BK.

waste our time at suntec in time to come back n catch our movie.

manage to take some pix wit rina b4 i left.

2nd last day of work.

2008-03-22T22:33:00.000+08:00

yessa.

finally its da 2nd last day of my working days in GVMA.

freakin shagged thanx to da crowds.

well...it was GOOD FRIDAY yest.

a long holiday for em.

a long hell for me in da box office.

later in da afternoon.

i met aishah at Jurong Point.

accompanied me to da value shop.

to buy biscuits as a farewell gift to GV mates tomoro.
wrote a piece of farewell note.

pasted on each n evry biscuits.

tired.

2008-03-13T23:31:00.000+08:00

i wun type much today.

im fucking tired.

i worked morning shift today.

freaking queue n freakin customer.

non-stop pissing me off.

my work was totally corrupted.

after 2mth nt been working.

da rain made me walk da long way.

reached hme late.

tired siol.

2008-03-12T23:57:00.002+08:00

tired sia.

unpacking evrything frm yesterday stuff.

settling nenek's HDB stuff.

talking nenek out about da hse.

panicked myself wen lukin at her crying.

did i said sumthin wrong?

haixxx.

send her hme by cab.

she was so stubborn.

i was stressing myself out bout shoes.

i got no shoes for tomoro.

im starting back my work tomoro.

haiyah.

forcing myself here.

checking out.

2008-03-11T23:50:00.000+08:00

woke up at 10am.

30min to checking out.

i didnt took a shower.

juz wash my face n brush my teeth.

its time to say gud bye to my very 1st chalet.

and of coz da trash dat we left outside.

hungry kitty muz hav dug out.

da fish head d ate.

upon reaching hme we all knock out.

but b4 tat i was hungry.

so i cooked da killing fried rice.

really spicy.

den head to find teddy.

to sleep lah.

damn tired.

even no time to unpack.

2008-03-10T23:18:00.000+08:00

woke up at 11 plus.
help mum n cik aya wit da breakfast preparation.
gosh its raining again.
its like throughout tis chalet it has been raining.
i guessed me n zurin picked da wrong period of time.
aniwae....
khairil n d was all along been sleeping till late afternoon.
he woke up juz in time wen we gonna start barbequing.
bro arrived wit speakers for us to karaoke.
tis round its my 1st time TO C MY D BBQ-ING.
i juz sit bside him watch him bbq.
n all his food selling fast on da table.
one of da culprit is me sitting beside him.

at the later part.

after setting up da speakers.

dere u go evryone start browsing da cds.

wat else to karaoke lah.

1st time i heard cik man sing.

tho he get out of tune most of da time.

he did entertain us.

hehehehehe.

bro on the other side.

naik menyampah pulak.

conquer da mic most of the time.

sedap ke suara die?

hehehehehehe.

**********************************

later part of da evening.

we play the game of bingo again.

really addictive game i muz say.

ppl fight to buy alot of card.

wen it was me n d's turn to pick a card.

we left wit two cards oni.

hw to win?!

we play for 2 games.

we got "lobang" once.

but den didnt win.

suay uh tis two cards.

card no. 13 d's so call fav no.

after da 2nd game.

i accompanied d to da shuttle bus.

time for him to go home.

managed to get a pic of us together..FINALLY.

tat picture has become my hp's wallpaper.

*********************************

1st day chalet.

2008-03-09T23:30:00.008+08:00

reached costa sand at bout 12 plus.

upon arrival of sis n cik aya.

we proceed to loyang's sheng siong market.

da market was bloody small n squeezy.

irritated wit sis.

spent arnd 200 bucks.

******************************

reached da chalet was a big mess.

cuzzin of dad side has occupied da area.

drizzling weather worsened situation.
handling fishes was da worst for me.

******************************

was a bit fucked up wit d.

he said he will turn up tomoro instead.

after a mth planning for today.

easy for him to chge his mindset.

hu wudnt b fucked up.

chalet went ok tho i wasnt in da mood.

******************************

a suprise for me.

d came at 10 plus.

together wit cik silah unexpectedly.

was freakin happy frm den on.

i had a great nite.

da whole nite we gamble our money wit playing bingo.

we all sang together during karaoke session.

some having fun with scrabble game.

stuffed ourselves wit seafood.

kids went swimming.

*****************************

i was happy dat d was able to blend well wit my family.

above all.

my mission of letting my family noe hu's my bf has accomplished.

me,d,fiza knocked off at 7am.

b4 dat khairil,me,d,fiza,zurin,fila gamble our left over money.

wit playing da addictive bingo lah wat else.

d n i had a hard time sleeping on da floor.

wen da rest squeezed in da bed.

mum dad granny n athira had mattresses at da 1st floor.

****************************

fyi: i had to endure d's n fiza's snoring.

wohoo besok chalet.

2008-03-08T23:11:00.002+08:00

busy packing for tomoro!

chalet lah beb!

wooohhooooo!

terrible afternoon i muz say.

i hafta peel a big packet of onion.

a roll of garlic.

on and on and on.

my hands stinks.

and im meetin d at 7pm.

had a super quick shower.

wore anything tat i cud grab.

didnt comb my hair.

gosh terrible.

met d fer awhile b4 he head to work.

he accompanied me to buy stuff for tomoro.

gee really cant wait for tomoro.

tho sis is gettin on my nerve.

keep bombing my cell fon.

kinda worried bout nenek's case.

for nw i cnt help wit anythin.

ive yet to start working.

day to NUH.

2008-03-05T23:10:00.000+08:00

gosh i overslept.

supposed to meet aishah at the interchange at 12.15.

but i reached at bout 12.33.

but den guess wat ppl.

I TOOOK DAA BUSS TODAYY!

after 2 mth strugling on cab fare.

went to visit my gud buddy's dad at ward 51.

my 1st ever ward tat i've worked b4.

i met fishball hehehe!!miz her.

had my lubnch at the basement!!!

wohooo~!

my usual mee soto n siew mai wit root beer.

came to ward 63 to say hello to fellow team.

n met nana(coach) to go hme wit her together.

though i felt bad tat syafiq didnt say hi to me at da bus stop.

well..understooded-dooded.

me n nana went to jrg point fer awhile.

wow it feels like we hav so many things to talk bout.

accompany nana eating at long john silver.

i had my hershey pie.

we talked bout lotsa stuff.

n head back hme.

knockoff at 7pm n nw im awake!

i miz my tv shows.

i hav a boyfren hu calls me MONTEL.

2008-03-04T23:28:00.002+08:00

i got a boyfren hu calls me MONTEL.

hehehe..luv him.

ite called.

2008-03-03T23:48:00.003+08:00

tiring day fer me.

i didnt slept thru out da nite.

at 5am i had my shower.

called d zillions time to wake him up.

prepared breakfast n clothes for athira.

at 5.30am woke athira up for school.

had hard time drying up n tie up her hair.

at 6am we go off to take her sch bus.

at 7am den i was able to knockoff.

gav up in waking d up.

at 10 plus onwards.

i got 3 calls frm d asking me to wake up.

was so tired dat i cudnt open my eyes.

bro woke me up at 11am plus.

damn!beginning to get frustrated.

WOKE ME UP JUZ TO ASK HU FETCHING ATHIRA.

WHO ELSE?!IT'LL B BETTA IF HE WAKE ME UP.

JUZ TO TELL ME TAT HE'LL B FETCHING HER.

at 1pm went to fetch athira.

upon reaching hme,few hrs after tat i knocked off.

i was supposed to meet d at 7am at my place.

ITE called at 6.45pm.

n drag da whole conversation.

damn!i was late to meet d.

rushed to get a quick shower.

wen i was a bout to leave da hse.

i didnt get to find my wallet.

tat creates a big quarrel btwn me,my mum,and athira.

argh!!!today sux big time.

shiats i woke up at da wrong timing.

2008-02-29T02:57:00.002+08:00

screw me!

i woke up suddenly.

damn.

shudnt hav slept early.

nw i realli cnt get to bed.

checked my hp.

damn i didnt reply 2 of d's msgs.

d saket.

2008-02-28T19:00:00.002+08:00

i was awoke by d's msg.

he didnt report to camp today.

went to da clinic after feelin chest pain.

diagnosed wit chest inflammation.

i tink.

tis is wat stubborn boy gets for nt heeding my advice.

doctor orders are CUTTING DOWN SMOKING.

no oily n spicy food.

do u tink he wud listen?

i met him for awhile at LOT 1.

darn he was late!

we sat fer awhile had drinks at McCafe.

he wit his usual caramel frappe.

me wit my usual double choc frappe.

went off at bout 6 i guess.

it was raining by den.

starting to feel sleepy rite nw.

nice whether to sleep.

snorrrrrrrreeeeee.

met marsitah!!!

2008-02-27T23:55:00.003+08:00

wohooo!

i met marsitah juz nw at 6pm.

went to jurong point.

well she wanna go watch meet the spartans movie.

but im reconsidering as d said its nt worth to watch.

it reminds me of da epic movie i watched.

tat freakin movie tat wasted my time.

luckily i watch it for free at my own workplace(GVmarina).

i dint noe wat i bought but i definitely spent 50 bucks.

or maybe more?

let me c..hmm...

$5.25 for cab fare dere.

$5.00 for dinner at KFC.

$19.00 for Body Shop's concealor.

$10.00 for Body Shop's membership w free lip balm.

$10.90 for silkygirl's perfume.

$1.95 for 4 bars mentos.

$4.00 for cab back hme.

ok well...

got hme d called.

was wondering wen we'll b meeting again.

most probably tis friday if none of us create any issues.

mum getting excited over wat to buy for chalet.

all i noe i did my part in planning n paying my part of $180.

he didnt ans.

2008-02-26T00:23:00.001+08:00

i was hoping to b able to talk on da fon wit him.

to talk tings out.

rang him juz nw.

but it seem dat deres no ans frm him.

either he refuse to ans.

or he is already asleep.

im nt ashame of u.

2008-02-25T23:06:00.002+08:00

was at hme as usual da whole day.

was crackin my brain out to plan da upcoming chalet.

me n dad clear up da rabbits cage.

he does da cleaning of da cage.

i did da sweeping n bathing da rabbits.

help shasha wit her blogskin.

hope she like it.

did my best tho.

kak ayu came to my house.

bro cook da massive amt of spaghetti(his campak2 recipe).

da one time eating is enuf to fill me till supper.

d call tis afternoon.

i was hoping to noe da sentence.

but it turns out another story.

later after tat i msg him tellin him to turn up for da chalet.

he agrees until we talk bout wat he shud wear.

i receive a msg frm him.

r u afraid or ashame to bring me ovr to e chalet

bcoz of ur parent might disagree or wat?

if u do jz say so aite

d common lah.

y wud i feel ashame of u.

juz becoz u hav tattoos on ur arm?

if i were ashame of wat u r nw.

i wudnt b wit u rite nw.

i might b afraid of wat my parent's views r.

but atleast dey noe hu im goin out wit.

i met d.

2008-02-24T13:33:00.001+08:00

woohoooo!

i've met d yesterday at 10pm.

i got back hme tis morning at 2am.

he was sick.

kinda felt bad.

but realli i cant help it.

i miss him so much.

still wanted to meet him.

da problem again was we didnt noe where to go.

so we sctually walk to central 7-11.

to grab sum drinks.

n sat somewhere.

i hate it wen he smokes n drinks da dumb2 stout.

esspecially wen he is nt well.

we chat bit here n dere.

he said i kept quiet too much.

its nt tat im bored.

his present is gud enuf to keep me entertain.

his bald hair adds it more.

so kiiiiiyyyuuuuuut!haha.

a question tat he ask suddenly knock my head.

a question tat i suppose to ask.

a question tat im nt sure whether he ans truthfully.

ARE YOU HAPPY WIT ME?

i luv u d.

n im happy wit u.

let me b da only one tat will b feelin ur pain n anger.

da one to put da smile on ur face each day.

da one hu'll b holding ur hands.

da one to share evrthin wit.

d not meetin me.

2008-02-23T20:12:00.000+08:00

dissapointed.

sad.

feel like screaming.

pull my hairs.

nt meeting d tonight.

m i playing hard to get or sumthin.

well he shud noe wats goin on in my mind.

he shud noe wat im tinkin.

since wat happen i dun tink so i guess.

i've been lukin for tonight.

once again to get wrapped in his arms.

get "i miss you" kisses frm him.

juz another night to spend quality time together.

he's out wit his friends.

i dun blame him.

its been a long time i shed a tear of sadness.

i really wanna make tis relatonship work tis time.

compared to da last one ended 2 yrs ago.

if get to look to ur eyes again d.

i really wanna tell u tat i really love you.

still dunu whether to meet.

2008-02-23T13:58:00.001+08:00

still wondering whether we meeting.

maybe not i guess.

wit tis kinda situation goin on.

im fine wit it.

but i miss him so much.

ive been lukin forward for today.

where i cud meet him.

god noes wen else we're b meetin after today.

juz miss him.

so much.

fought wit d.

2008-02-22T00:56:00.001+08:00

nthn much today.

had a short conference wit huda n ijah on da fone.

im happy tat dey r havin fun at werk in hospital.

compared to me(stucked at home).

gav d a beep at arnd 1.15am.

it was a short chat n he hung up on me.

so i supposed da lukin forward of meetin him tomoro.

i can now kiss it goodbye.

im tired cracking my brain on where i go wrong in tis relationship.

issit becoz tat im nt da "girlfriend material"?

maybe my mistake is i dun giv much attention n luv 2 him.

mayb i've nt been putting a smile on his face.

still..one thing i hate bout him is he hide too much frm me.

sum simple stuff like hw sux he's feeling.

he wun share.

so da question now in mind is.

WHO AM I TO YOU?

i wan to noe ur problems.

i wan to noe ur feelings.

i wan to feel ur pain.

if im ur gf.

den treat me like one.